Things To Never Say To A Child About Nuclear War

With Russia placing its nuclear stockpile on high alert, many are comparing today’s political climate with that of the Cold War. When your child inevitably comes to you with questions about nuclear war, here are things you should never say. “See? This is what happens when you don’t make your bed.” “See? This is what … Read more

Things To Avoid Saying When Confronting A Bully

If you’re a weak-ass pussy bitch who is actually considering standing up for yourself, it’s important to be prepared. Here are several phrases to avoid saying when confronting a bully. “I won’t stand for this.” “I won’t stand for this.” Bullies have excellent comedic timing and they won’t miss the chance to lay you out. … Read more

Every Studio Ghibli Film Is Secretly About The Same Thing

Continue Reading Below The first is that Miyazaki is a deeply empathetic man—he wouldn’t be much of a leftist if he wasn’t. He’s not interested in making a one-dimensional polemic on the Evils of Capitalism. Consider that in Princess Mononoke, Lady Eboshi, the de facto leader of Iron Town whose pollution and expansionism are driving … Read more

Lies Elected Officials Tell Their Constituents All The Time

“I’m proud to represent the good people of Indiana.” “I’m proud to represent the good people of Indiana.” And they say it with a straight face, too. Disgusting. “If you elect me, anything at all will happen.” “If you elect me, anything at all will happen.” While easy to fall for, this statement—told by politicians … Read more

Who Was the First Stand-Up Comic?

Continue Reading Below Will Rogers American icon Rogers got his start as a lasso expert in a Wild West show, a performance that ironically did not require him to speak. But what he did learn, Federman says, is how to hold an audience. He developed an act where he explained rope tricks in an aw-shucks … Read more

Worst Things You Can Say To Someone Single On Valentine’s Day

“Babe, please! Gimme another chance, doll!” “Babe, please! Gimme another chance, doll!” She’s over it, dirtbag! “You are alone because you are incapable of loving and being loved.” “You are alone because you are incapable of loving and being loved.” Honesty is not what they need to hear right now. “Wow, weren’t you also alone … Read more

The Most Iconic Super Bowl Commercials Of All Time

2 / 27 “Where’s The Beef”, Wendy’s (1984) “Where’s The Beef”, Wendy’s (1984) In this iconic ad, 81-year-old Clara Peller uttered her catchphrase “Where’s the beef,” which swept the nation and launched her to fame that persists to this day, nearly two decades later because she is definitely still alive, just like everyone you love. … Read more